Relationships are best measured by farting. The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting.
谈对象这事可以用放屁来衡量。感情的不同阶段都可以用放屁来定义。

Stage 1 is the conspiracy of silence. This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste.

第一阶段叫做“心知肚明的沉默”,在这个美妙的阶段,双方都装作从来不放屁。

This illusion is very quickly shattered by that first shy 'ooh did you fart?' followed by the sheepish admission of truth. This heralds a period of deeper intimacy. A period I like to call the 'fart honeymoon'. Where both parties find each other's gas just the cutest thing in the world.

但是这个不着边儿的假装很快就会被第一句小心翼翼的问候:“你刚刚放屁了?”打破,放屁者随后会害羞的承认。这次问答标志着双方关系发展到更深的层次,一个我称之为“屁蜜月”的阶段。双方都觉得对方放的屁是全世界最cute的。

But of course no honeymoon can last forever. And so we reach the critical fork in the fart. Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass, thereby signifying true love, or else, it begins to annoy and disgust. Thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid in the formerly beloved

当然天下没有不散的蜜月,屁蜜月也是如此。这时就到了最关键的阶段。如果放屁不再让放屁者感到尴尬,也不让闻屁者感到开心,那么他们就是真爱。然而如果放屁这事让双方感到厌恶恶心,那么俩人就该玩完了。

相思成灾Love and Other Disasters(2006)

又名:爱情大灾难(台) / 缘分吹吹风 / Love (and Other Disasters)

上映日期:2007-04-25(法国)片长:90分钟

主演:布莱特妮·墨菲 马修·瑞斯 桑地亚哥·卡布瑞拉 艾略特·科万 

导演:阿莱克·凯西西恩 编剧:阿莱克·凯西西恩 Alek Keshishian

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