更新时间:2017-11-09

银翼杀手2049:哈哈哈哈，4chan有人写了个好莱坞最能大卖的电影结尾剧本

正经的银翼杀手2049的评论我还在拖延，今天看到一个好玩的：银翼2049在4chan非常受欢迎，最近有个帖子，给这个片子编了一个最好莱坞的能大卖的剧本。我大概翻译一下。
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——Joe，hey Joe！
——Joi？！但是我看见你已经……
——当Luv踩碎我的发射器的时候我把我自己上传到她的赛博靴子里了，然后她走回Wallace公司的时候我黑进了主系统。听着，Joe，这比我们想象得还要坏。Wallace打算用他的超级复制人军队摧毁洛杉矶，你必须阻止他！
——如果他有一只军队，我怎么才能组织他？
——告诉你一个好消息。我给你找了些帮手。
——一辆牛逼闪闪的飞行跑车优雅的停在他旁边，欧翼门打开，Sapper Morton坐在驾驶席上。
——Sapper Morton？我以为我把你干掉了。
——我故意的，小子。上车。我们还要去拯救城市。
——你介意我放点古典乐吗？
——完全不介意。
——AC/DC的Back in Black轰然响起，飞行车接近Tyrell的金字塔，蓝色的能量柱正在汇聚，Wallace打算毁灭城市。
——Sapper和Joe在金字塔外面停车。Luv和Wallace出现在正门。
——“我们是来这里阻止你的，华莱士。”
——“你不可能阻止进化。人类是过去时了。这是未来。”
——一队银色的终结者骷髅走过Wallace。
——“看看它们。强大，没有灵魂，顺从，完美的复制人。当人类消失之后，我会像上帝一样统治它们。”
——Sapper冷笑。“上帝只有一个，而且……好吧你确实看着像耶稣基督。但是你还是一个王八蛋。”于是他开始揍其中一个超级复制人，战斗开始，Wallace和Luv退回金字塔。
——他们打过这一大堆机器人，Sapper和Joe进入了一个完美的瓷砖大厅。他们看到Wallace坐着电梯上去了，但是Luv还在那里
——Joe说：“阻止他启动那个武器，我会对付这个婊子。”
——Sapper冲上楼梯，Joe和Luv开始一场史诗的跑酷的功夫的格斗，牛逼程度仅次于《黑客帝国1》的地铁格斗。
——同时间，Wallace愤怒的同事敲着两个键盘，启动他的死光，蓝色的光柱充满天空。
——Sapper撞开门。Wallace说：“你来晚了，已经开始了。”
——切回大厅。Luv比较牛逼，把Joe打趴了。她抬起一只脚，准备把他的脑袋踩碎，狞笑着说：“不要送一个男人来做女人的工作。”
——突然Joi在她面前物质化了。一个快速的主观镜头视角显示“硬光模式启动”，Joi把她一拳打翻，然后说“你说的对，姐姐。”
——回到阁楼，Sapper说：“这永远不晚”然后抓住Wallace，直接把他扔进激光发射器，激光把他蒸发了，然后Sapper停下了激光。
——Joe和Joi看着烟花，激情拥吻。
——黑屏
——两周后
——Joe去医院看了Joshi长官，她头上包了一圈绷带
——她告诉他由于他的举动，复制人获得了完全的平权，问他现在他自由了，打算干什么。
——他回复：“我擅长的事情：银翼杀手。”
——字幕滚动
——彩蛋
——Luv坐在新复制人监狱的一间牢房里，因为现在暴力的复制人会被抓进监狱而不是被退休。她拔下她的一支非常仔细美容过的手指甲，里面是一根撬锁用的针。镜头移到她的脸上，她开始微笑，安静而邪恶的说：“我是最棒的”
——完
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以下是英文原文
>Joe? Hey, Joe!
>Joi?! But I saw you...
>I uploaded myself into Luv's Cyberboot when she made contact with my emitter, then when she walked back to Wallace Corp I hacked into the mainframe. Listen, Joe, it's worse than we thought. Wallace is going to destroy Los Angeles with his army of super replicants, you have to stop him!
>If he's got an army, how am I supposed to take him on by myself?
>That's the good news. I got you some backup
>*a BITCHEN SPORTS HOVERCAR gracefully lands next to him, the gull wing door opens revealing Batista is in the driver seat*
>Sapper Morton? I thought I killed you.
>That's what I wanted you to think kid, now hop in. We got a city to save.
>Mind if I put on some classical music?
>Not at all.
>*Back in Black starts blaring as the hovercar approaches the Tyrell pyramid, where a blue energy beam is coalescing as Wallace prepares to obliterate the city*
>Sapper and Joe land outside the pyramid. Luv and Niander Wallace appear at the front door
>"We're here to stop you, Wallace."
>"You can't stop evolution. Humanity is the past. This is the future."
>an army of silver Terminator skeletons marches out past Wallace
>"Look at them. Powerful, soulless, obedient, the perfect Replicant. When the humans are gone, I will rule them as a god."
>Batista chuckles. "There's only one God, and... Well, actually you do look like Jesus. But you're still an asshole" and punches out one of the Super Replicants as a brawl begins and Wallace and Luv retreat into the pyramid
>after fighting their way through the mass of robots, Sapper and Joe reach an immaculate porcelain lobby. They see an elevator door close as Wallace ascends, but Luv remains behind.
>Joe says "Stop him from activating the weapon, I've got this bitch."
>Sapper rushes for the stairs as Joe and Luv engage in an EPIC PARKOUR KUNG FU BATTLE the likes of which has not been seen since the subway fight in The Matrix (1999)
>at the same time, Wallace is furiously typing on two keyboards at once, activating his death laser, as a pulsing blue beam fills the sky
>Sapper bursts through the door. Wallace says "You're too late. It's already begun."
>cut back to the lobby. in spite of his skill, Luv gains the upper hand and subdues him. As she raises her boot to crush his skull she smirks and says "Never send a man to do a woman's job."
>suddenly Joi materializes in front of her. A quick POV shot shows "hard light mode activated" and Joi knocks her out with a right hook, then says "You got that right, sister."
>back in the penthouse, Sapper says "It's never too late," seizes Wallace and BATISTA BOMBS HIM DIRECTLY INTO THE LASER EMITTER, vaporizing him and halting the beam
>Joe and Joi look up at the fireworks then passionately kiss
>cut to black

>two weeks later
>Joe visits Lt. Joshi in the hospital, where she has a bandage around her head
>She tells him that because of his actions, replicants have been granted full and equal rights, and asks him what he's going to do now that he's free
>he replies "What I do best. Blade run."
>roll credits

>post-credits scene
>Luv is sitting in a cell at the new Replicant Jail since violent replicants are now imprisoned rather than retired. She pulls back one of her carefully embossed fingernails, revealing a lockpick concealed under it. The camera zooms into her face as she begins to smile, then quietly and ominously says "I'm the best one."
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怎么港，按照这个剧本再拍一个版本，全球大卖10亿刀不是梦