更新时间:2012-10-16

绯闻计划:Other Possible Ways to Be Parents

Imagine how it feels to be in a family like this. Love daddy's jokes and mummy's lovely smile when daddy is telling a joke. FUNNY PARENTS OF THE YEAR.

-I'm adopted.
-What?Oh, my god. Who told you? Guys. We are gonna do this at the right time. Listen to me, sometimes, even when a man and a woman love each other very much...like your mother and I USED TO(⊙﹏⊙b）, their insides just don't cooperates with each other.

-Nothing. It's just the rumor mill.
-What's the rumor mill churning out these days?Anything interesting?
-You know, not really. it's a little low on grist
-Oh~Clever wordplay. I like it. You must be related to me.
-Only by marriage.

-Spell with the peas!
-I would take that challenge.

-Where are you from originally?

-Hi, is there an Olive here?
-There is a whole jar of them in the fridge.

-Olive, sweeite. There is a young man here to see you. He said something about asking for your hand in marriage.
-oh, Happy day. Mom.Oh, I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness.A gentleman caller. Hurray
-What's that?
-Olive has a boy in her room.
-A boy?
-A boy.
-Wow, a boy.
-A boy.
-A boy?
-A boy.
-Wow.

(Playing awful guitar)
-That's so beautiful.
-Never had one lesson.
-That boy yesterday just drop off the gift for you.
-Well, put it in the pile of gifts from my other suitors.
-He seems like a nice kid. He seems a little incredibly gay.
-A dyed-in-the-wool homosexual, that boy is.
-I just want you to know your father and I are totally supportive. We love you no matter what the sexual orientation of your opposite-sex sex partner.
-We're not dating, mum.
-And don't worry about not making us grandparents although we were kind of hoping you get knocked up, so we'd have a second shot at raising kids.

-Hey. no judgement. All god's children. It's fine.I was gay for a while. We are do it. No big deal. It's Ok.
-Dad, can you just shut the door. Please?
-Are you all right, buddy?
-Yeah
-Give them hell.

-Ok. I narrowed that down to THE OTHER BOLyN GIRL and THE BUCKET LIST. Huge hit.
-Why can't we watch a movie for kids?You always get to pick.
-Because the family member of the week got to pick the movie.
-You get the family member of the week every week.
-And there is a reason for that.
-Yes. You pick familly member of the week.
-Are you accusing me of the nepotism?
-ok. The Bucket list. this is it. It's the greatest decision. I'm so happy with the decision...After we watch the Bucket List, remember to cross"Watch the bucket list" off our bucket list. (LOL)

-No judgement. But you kinda look like a stripper.
-Mom.
-A high-end stripper. For governors or athletes.But, stripper, nontheless.

-I had the similar situation when I was your age.
-What? Everyone called you a slut?
-I had a horrible reputation and people said awful things about me.
-why?
-Because I was a slut. I slept with a whole bunch of people. A slew, a heap, a peck. Mostly guys...
-Mom!
-Sorry. I got around.Before I met Dad, I had incredibly low self-worth.
-Do me a favor and just stuff this down my throat until i asphyxiate to death.
-It's true. I could do this thing. I could go ... I mean, my leg all the way
-you are wonderful. And you are gonna handle this the same way I did. With an incontrovertible sense of humor.But you are much smarter than I am. And you will come out of this much better that I did.