Civilization
is the amputation
of everything that ever happened to us
an experiment created
by aliens
unable to have sex
Civilization
is the molestation
of everything we ever could be
a giant repression melting into suppression
so that you never say what you mean
Civilization
is breathing down our necks
splitting us apart
we are wreckage
with beating hearts
Civilization
is a can of hair spray
spraying for the seasonless vein
into a hair net
made up of curls
only ever meant to be waves
Civilization
genocide beliefs
moralistic
see-through lace blouses
missiles ballistic
lackadaisical,
melancholic red lipstick
when one feels nauseous
but doesn't feel sick
Civilization
knew who you were
before you were ever born
forgave you when you thought you needed forgiving
and you never once surprised
this civilization
and you never once felt
that sensation
I think my favorite victory is the ability to feel
such insincerity
it's incredible
if the cruise is anything
be it appreciation
be it a voyage
be is an adventure
that leads back to ourselves
be it a cartwheel
or a somersault
if you find the cruise
in a piece of carrot cake
a topless bar
the one thing the cruise always is, I think, is sincere
and sincerity
is one of my favorite victories in this lifetime
I mean, how much rebellion did I have to experience?
How much fighting did I do?
How many times did I have to ignore my father's inability to emote?
How we all ignore our father's inability to emote in our presence.
......
How much daily fighting, infighting, strategizing, evading, running
did I have to do for the ability to feel
for the ability to emote
for the simple moments
when I feel actual passion.
