"I dont think i ever wanted to be a man who loves children. But from the moment they're born, the baby comes out and u act like u r proud and excited and u hand out cigars...but u dont feel anything. Especially if u had a difficult childhood. I want to love them but I dont...and the fact that u r faking that feeling makes u wonder if ur own father had the same problem. Then one day they get older, u see them do something and u feel that feeling u were pretending to have...and it feels like ur heart is going to explode."
我非常喜欢这段台词,它交代了很多东西。
第一,它解释了我个人的疑问:为什么编剧很少描写Don和孩子的互动?因为在这一集之前,在Mr.king的死发生前,Don不爱他的孩子,恐怕一点都不爱 ( "I dont think i ever wanted to be a man who loves children. But from the moment they're born, the baby comes out and u act like u r proud and excited and u hand out cigars...but u dont feel anything.)。
第二,一个人不爱自己的孩子难道不奇怪吗?这段台词接着就像我们解释了Don为什么不爱自己的孩子:"Especially if u had a difficult childhood. I want to love them but I dont...and the fact that u r faking that feeling makes u wonder if ur own father had the same problem." 他缺少父爱的童年让他缺少这种能力。就像病了一样。无法给予孩子父爱又让他想到自己的父亲,是不是也有这样的问题/病所以才不爱自己。
“Then one day they get older, u see them do something and u feel that feeling u were pretending to have." 这里的时态变了(were pretending),说明Don以前假装爱他们,但是那是过去式了。这一集里Don带儿子(忘记名字了)去看电影,间歇时一个黑人工作人员在打扫,小孩子对他说”everybody likes to go to the movies when they're sad". 黑人工作人员和Don交换了一个有些惊讶又有些悲伤的眼神。我想,Don在这段话里("u see them do something")的something指的是不是儿子在电影院里的行为呢?
“...and it feels like ur heart is going to explode.”最后这半句更加证明了Don不爱孩子已经是过去式了。之前的"feeling"由假装出来的演变成了真实的、从心底往外溢出的,所以才会觉得心像要explode了一样。这样无法抑制的感觉不就是爱吗。