和Mr H：
The first time I slept with him, I felt nothing. I was too shocked and grieved.
Had anyone ever told me I should know another man but Charles, I would have spit in his face.
But our virtues and our vices depend too much on our circumstances.
但我们的道德底线会依据情况而变。
The second time, I was determined still to feel nothing, meaning to preserve a sort of faithfulness to Charles, but Mr. H was too patient and too skillful for me, and I am ashamed to say that my body betrayed me. 我很惭愧地承认我的身体背叛了我的心。
So I learned that the extremes of sensual delight had nothing to do with true love.
所以我了解到了肉体的快乐与真爱无关。
A cruel lesson for a girl with a romantic disposition, but I think many women may have made that bittersweet discovery for themselves.
对于一个多情的女孩来说这无疑是残忍的认知，但我想许多女人都是自己发现了这个喜忧参半的事实。
Now… I was truly learning to be a woman of pleasure.
现在，我真的学会了去做一个享乐的女人。
At the carousel, that merger, that confusion of heart and meat. I let myself be taken quickly by the pleasure. For the motto of Mme. Cole was: “ Do whatever you want, that’s the law.”
在狂欢舞会上，心灵与肉体的双重放纵渐渐让我沉溺于享受这种快感。用科尔夫人的名言来说就是：“做任何你想做的，这便是法则。”
We were all immersed in the pleasure of the flesh with each other. So there was nobody to point the accusatory finger. But even if Mrs. Cole said she had recreated the innocent pleasure of Garden of Eden, before sin and death enterd the scene, sometimes I felt a small twinge of guilt.
我们都沉浸在这种肉体交融的快感中，没有人会对你的行为横加指责。但即便科尔夫人宣传她只是在罪孽和死亡来临前重建了一个纯洁的伊甸园，但有时候我还是会有一种犯罪的愧疚感。
When I remembered Charles，I was thinking how I was and saw how he was now.
每当我想起查理是，我就会幻象他现在怎么样了。
A common whore, to speak directly. A vehicle for hire.
而我，不客气地来说，只是一个寻常的妓女。供别人泄欲的工具。
故事Fanny说：
从道德上看我的故事，大部分人都有良知。
对我来说，生活很复杂，我们尽最大的努力过好它。
美德总是比不道德好，但不是每次都有得选，对吧？
Virtue is always better than vive, but we cannot always choose, is not it?
