更新时间:2015-07-17

远离尘嚣:In the Cold Light of Day

"It's terrible responsibility, to hold another man's happiness in your hands."

女性的覺醒都是不容易的，可在任何時期任何地方（比如維多利亞時期的英國）都有女人天生就要強。入戲十分鐘就被見過一面的隔壁農莊牧羊人Oak求婚，Everdene毫不猶疑地說了不，還不留情面地留下了句：”If I ever were to marry I want somebody to tame me and you'd never be able to do it."

戲演到這裡在我看來已經足足夠了，可偏偏故事（人生）要就此捲席開來。後來發生的事，一如預期Everdene的所作所為讓人眼前一亮，敬佩無比，可漸漸地，也讓人油生憐憫。夜晚叢林中trespassing的sergeant Troy偶遇Everdene情不自禁地誇了她一句你真漂亮，她便全然抵擋不住那軍裝的豔紅而不能自已。Troy那晚確是崩潰狀可他巧嘴裡吐的也盡是真心話，因為那一刻他並無從知道眼前油燈照出的女孩就是農莊的女主人。當然婚後原形畢露，可對Everdene來說總算開心過瘋過顛過，她並不後悔。而他到底是誠實的，他沒有在東窗事發後嘗試對妻子隱瞞，他和Everdene一樣，是個無法背叛自己的人。

Troy是年輕的、激情澎湃的，相比起Boldwood那段就來得深沉而滄桑。"Let No Man Steal Your Thyme"的合唱裡最後那句是"That all the world may plainly see// How my love slighted me”。大多數民謠(folk songs)都是惋惜的悲涼的，大概並非沒有原因。三個suitor之中個人最喜歡他（還沒離開大叔控的年紀...），他娓娓道出的這句萬般無奈卻又無比動容："If you worry about marrying me merely out of guilt and pity and compromise, well - I don't mind, I love you and, for my own part, I am content merely to be liked." 儘管Boldwood擁有一切，可他知道，就算他娶了所愛的人，他也無法擁有她的心和她的所有。可即便如此他還是那樣誠懇卑微地propose了。

到底有誰能全然擁有Everdene這我不能確定（所以結局朝著晨光走去happily ever after的背影只能讓人聳聳肩）。她是一隻free bird, but not without ties ("Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?" Bob Dylan). 她越堅硬便越軟弱(“Bathsheba loved Troy in the way that only self-reliant women love when they abandon their self-reliance. When a strong woman recklessly throws away her strength she is worse than a weak woman who has never any strength to throw away." Thomas Hardy)，她越理性自控就越容易陷入無法自拔的情慾中。她不斷地試圖衝破性別身份的牢籠，這她好像還挺成功的，至少從結局看來。在那個時期，她完全是超前的(completely ahead of her time)。但即便現在，卻也並不見得容易了多少，因為到底這不是外在因素比如階級或性別的關係，而是人的天性本身——那種與生俱來的好強、狂妄、孤傲，視自由為空氣卻又想抓緊一切的徒勞。

Far from the madding crowd, in the cold light of day, few women had ever been there, and even fewer stayed there all the way through.

And perhaps it's nothing about women really, but men, in general.